Best Films of 2010: #8-7

"When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman's mouth?" -Dr. Spaceman

And on that note lets dive right in!

#8. Black Swan

Black Swan is insane. Seriously. There's really no other way to sum it up. It's a psycho trip into the mind of a very naive and damaged girl. Nina, played by Natalie Portman in a spell-binding performance, is a girl in a woman's body. Coddled and emotionally abused by her mother, she spends all her time dancing. She is a terrific dancer. Technically perfect. So, when her company decides to stage a production of Swan Lake, she is an immediate choice to play the sweet, virginal White Swan. But she doesn't have the inner fire to play the White Swan's evil twin, the Black Swan. This is when Nina's dark journey begins. It's a haunting, frightening and enthralling journey, and due to Darren Aranofsky's effective hand-held direction we are placed right in the middle of it. Natalie Portman is flawless here. She's in nearly every scene and she completely carries the film. Barbara Hershey gives a terrific and terrifying performance as Nina's mother. The rest of the cast is strong as well. A couple weak points toward the end are the film are forgiven and forgotten quickly, but other scenes stay with you for days. This is like a horror movie for the mind made by a terrific film maker and it is thoroughly effective.

#7. Catfish

This will likely be my most controversial pick for anyone who saw it. This small documentary was released this fall with one of the most enticing trailers I have ever seen. This trailer has been the center of much scorn heaped upon the film. The claim is that it was false advertising. This is incorrect. Yes, the trailer may be slightly misleading, but it does not misinform. This is a true documentary. Everything on screen happened. This is not, as people believe, a film about the dangers of modern technology and internet relationships. This is a meditation of humanity and how we deal with lonliness. The lengths we go to and the lies we tell ourselves to hide how we feel when our lives doesn't transpire the way we wanted. The last forty minutes of this film are some of the saddest, most poingnant, most fascinating, and most touching moments I've ever seen in a film. I felt this way because I am a deep fan of real human emotion and this movie displayed it to me. It is much more than just a a story of someone who claims to be someone their not online. This is the story of someone who hides behind lies so they don't have to face the depression of the truth. This is wholly human and this narrative is wholly powerful.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

The script for this kinda-true story zings, mesmerizes and captivates for the duration of this two hour film.  Aaron Sorkin, the writer, is the true star of this movie which is saying A LOT for a movie directed by David Fincher, scored by Trent Reznor, and starring Jesse Eisenberg, Spiderman and Justin Timberlake. The Social Network is likely going to win the Oscar for Best Picture (among a slew of others) and that is all because of this script. That's not why its winning this award. It wins this one for the dialogue. Wicked fast and razor sharp. Sorkin is a master at wordplay and he outdoes himself here.

Best Original Screenplay: Christopher Nolan, Inception

No one who saw a movie this year could disagree with this pick. The brainchild of Christopher Nolan who spent ten years developing this script. It paid off. This project is wholly original and overwhelmingly complex. The feature is a jigsaw puzzle being put together piece by piece. It is wildly inventive and profoundly moving at the same time. Nolan is about the only director living who can still make blockbuster films that are awards contenders as well. His films are suffused with creativity and humanity yet still find time to blow stuff up in style. He's one of the greatest working today and clearly one of the greatest writing too.

Tomorrow will bring two more picks on down the list. Also I will list my picks for Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress. Catfish is available on DVD. I suggest you rent it.

Best Films of 2010: #10-9

Well here it is. The Best of the Best of 2010 Countdown. Part 1. I'll start my Best films of 2010 here with #9 & 10 as well as start my list for the 'Bests' in the other categories.  I've been putting this off for long enough so, I figure I'll just put chisel to stone and start counting them down.

#10. City Island

A sweet film about a family in the small fishing village of City Island on Manhattan. It's a great film that can take a completely overused cliche and make it both funny and new, and City Island achieves that. In every awful romantic comedy movie, one or both of the characters have some bad secret that they just can't let the other one know like; My huge book store is the reason your small quaint one is going out of business or; I told you I didn't go to that strip club with my friends but I really did or; I didn't want to admit it but that sexy doctor totally wants me and I totally know it but i think i'm a decent person so i would never admit that to you or myself. Anyway it's bad writing. It's a ploy to create plot to drive the story forward to some kind of eventual happy conclusion. The odd thing about City Island is that it does this, but not in a contrived, cliche way. It's funny and it's feels like something that an actual family could do. The dad played by Andy Garcia doesn't want to tell his wife he goes to acting classes. She assumes he's having an affair. They both 'quit' smoking so they hide it from each other. The daughter is a stripper. The son is a chubby chaser. Everyone has a secret and it all comes to a head at the end, but instead of behaving like over dramatic two dimensional characters, this family behaves like people. Terrific performances by Garcia, Julianna Margulies, Emily Mortimer and the rest of the cast bring some very touching moments as well as some very funny ones too. This was a small surprise, but it turned out to be quite a treat.

#9: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

This under-appreciated gem dropped just in time for my birthday this year. I saw this movie four times in theaters. Four times. I've never seen a movie that many times in theaters. Ever. It helps that I got in for free I suppose but still. Wildly inventive, sharply witty, unexpectedly action packed, deeply romantic, hilariously funny, and overwhelmingly original. This movie has everything. Michael Cera makes quite the comeback in my book after a slew of poorly executed movies that had him playing George Michael Bluth over and over again. He's not George Michael here. It's a new character, a new performance and once again shows how funny and fresh this actor can be. Mary Elizabeth Winstead gives a star making performance as Ramona, the girl who's just a little to captivating for her own good. It's easy to discredit Winstead here as just playing some disinterested hipster chick with a dry sense of humor but she does so much more than that. She's subtly wounded and it comes out in her performance in the most remarkable ways. The supporting cast is as colorful as one comes. Whip smart dialogue and unparalleled, inventive direction both from Edgar Wright of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame combine to turn this into a uniquely original experience which is something that can be said for about 1% of the films made per year. This is a film that deserves an audience.

So there are my first two picks. Successors will follow. Now I'm counting down my bests in other categories. Today I give you my pick for.....

Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3

Is anyone who actually saw an animated film this year surprised? How to Train Your Dragon had its moment of goodness (not quite greatness) when it wasn't being awful and all Dreamworks like. I didn't waste my time on Despicable Me but Evil Villain gets a family and learns corny lessons... there I just saved you two hours of your life. Go swimming or something. I don't even remember anything else that came out. You think that's a good sign? OH Tangled! Blah. Mish mash from other, more successful Disney princess films in the past. Nothing new or creative. Toy Story on the other hand completed a trilogy in a fashion that has never been done before. As always Pixar transcends animation to give us real human stories and emotions. This movie was never about Toys. This series never was. What this movie was about is childhood and how it feels when someone starts to leave it behind. This movie resonated with anyone who has ever been a kid with a favorite toy. That toy, though we didn't realize it at the time represented our childhood and still today when we think about that toy we get a twinge of nostalgia and longing. We wish, if for just a moment, that we could go back and play with that toy as a kid again. When anything was possible. When no adventure was too great for the two of you to take on together. It also resonates with any parent who has ever had to pack up their child and take them to college. This movie tackles all these deep, human issues while still being a kids movie and does it with humor and grace. What other movie can boast that this year? Or any year? Toy Story will go down as the one of the greatest trilogies in cinema history and it deserves it fully.

Well that's it. Check by soon for #8-7 in the countdown and my pics for the Best Adapted and Original Screenplays of 2010. Until then,

Soupy Twist.

Best TV Shows of 2010 1-2

Well here it is. The big moment. The moment you all (and by you all, I mean me and two others) have been waiting for for three long days. Surprisingly we had a couple people guess, and I was very impressed wtih their knowledge of me. Addisen, I'm not suprised you knew what was going on, but Danielle, color me surprised! I don't ever remember preaching Mad Men to you. Well done to both but, alas, only one can win. And to be honest I didn't even decide which order these two would go in until right now. I landed on a compromise I'm happy with so lets get down to business because I have to shower and go complain about my exorcism neighbors and pay my rent before work. Blerg

2. Mad Men

Now lets get one things straight. Mad Men is the best show on TV. Maybe ever. It has peerless writing and incredible acting from everyone in the cast. It's an unflinching portrayal of these peoples lives in this particular time in history and as far as historical accuracy goes, it's flawless. This season brought us possibly the best Mad Men Episode to date with The Suitcase. A nearly two man show between Don and Peggy. It was incredible roller coaster ride into their lives, minds and emotions. And Jon Hamm and Elizabeth Moss have never been better. I can't say anything negative about this show. So why is it at number two? Because it's my list and I do what I want. Mad Men, though phenomenal, doesn't give me the crazy, rewatchable joy that my number one pick does. So without further ado, I give you my pic for the Best Television Show of 2010....

1. Community

Is anyone really that surprised? No this show isn't perfect. It has several flaws. But when it's on, its ON. Its very smart and VERY funny but can also take the time to be very sweet as well. It's a show that do an episode where they have legitimate zombies and then tone it down for a one on one conversation containing great character development and heart. It can do anything. Its a show that just gives me great joy to watch and share. When my family was in town we hung out, ate, talked, and watched Community. It was terrific. It's a show that can bring people together. It's a show that can cause me to write horribly cliched sentences like the previous one. It's just a terrific show. It's the kind of show that I would want to work on. Hell, its the kind of show that I would want to live in. And it's the kind of show that I'm going to be watching and sharing for many years to come and that's what makes it the Best Show of 2010

So there we are. That was fun. Thanks everyone for participating. Addisen you will get you passes. And I will post one of these for the best films of 2010 as well when I've seen all in contention which should be some time next month so stay tuned. And until then my friends it's a good night from me.

Soupy Twist.

Best TV Shows of 2010 3-4

Ok I know I only posted the last post like six hours ago, but its my day off and that happens so rarely, I have NO idea what to do with myself, so I'm just laying in bed refreshing Facebook. I figured this would be more proactive.

#4. Dexter

Dexter had a tricky feat to pull off this season- following last season. Last season was incredible. Everyone knows it. John Lithgow and the writers brought us the best Dexter season yet and probably the best television show of last year. If I had made a list last year, Dex would have likely topped it. And it all ended with the "HOLY WTF??!?!?!" gut punch. Those who have seen it know what I'm talking about. Those who haven't shouldn't be reading this. Anyway how do you follow a season that is a shock a minute until the end? Dexter answered this question by crafting a much quieter season and it worked to great effect. Yes, it picked up toward the end like they all do, but much of it was slow and methodical. One of the things I credit to this season is the writing. It felt so natural and real. Story lines evolved in a way that didn't feel like a television show and that's a compliment. Seeds were planted in the first couple episodes that didn't bloom until the last couple. That's good writing. Top it all off with some amazing moments for Dexter and Michael C. Hall. That dude needs to win an Emmy. Julia Stiles guest starred this season and just in case someone hasn't caught up, I won't tell you what her role is, but she was pretty terrific. The story that goes on between her character and Dexter are some of the most touching and poignant ever on the show. And if a show about killing people can pull off being legitimately moving well, that's a testament to the power of the show as a whole.

#3. 30 Rock

I'm kind of a Tina Fey whore. I love her. I love everything she does. I think she's probably the funniest woman on the planet. But I don't just love 30 Rock for Tina Fey. I love it for Jack. I love it for Jenna. I love it for Kenneth. I love it for Liz. I love how much Liz loves eating. I love Liz and Jacks relationship. I love the numerous times Liz's name has been turned into some form of the word 'Lesbian' for a joke. I love the endless stream of terrific guest stars from Jon Hamm to Elizabeth Banks. From Matt Damon to the hysterical Michael Sheen. I love pretty much everything about 30 Rock. Why does it deserve #3? Because it make me laugh harder at something than I've ever laughed at anything in my entire life. How?This clip right here...

Oh 30 Rock. What would I do without you?

Tomorrow I will list the two best TV shows I watched this year. Same deal goes. Guess them = free movie. Hell, if anyone even cares enough to even read or comment on this, I'll probably buy them sushi or something.

Soupy Twist.

Best TV Shows of 2010 5-6

I've decided that for every remaining day of 2010 I will count down two of the six best TV shows I watched in 2010. I watch a lot of TV. A LOT. Thats why my room mate calls me Abed sometimes. And there's a very good chance there's several shows I'm not even remembering at this point that could potentially habitate this list. But these are the stand outs. Is habitate a word? I'm kinda tired and it's kinda late. There's a little red dotty line underneath it, but it sounds right on my brain. Oh well. I'm sure that one of you will tell me what word I meant there. Onto the count down.

6. Lost

If this ranking was bases on the series finale alone it would probably land at number one. However, before the finale there were 16 episodes of highs and lows. All in all it was quite a satisfying season, but loses points for all the meandering story-lines that had characters bouncing back and for between sides and good and evil to keep the plot moving. Also lost points for amount of questions unaddressed. I know that the answers weren't the most important thing to the show runners in the final season. They were more concerned about the character resolutions as they should be. And if given the choice between a final season created to make fans happy with what they think they want and a final season of the creators of the show giving us the end game they always envisioned, I'd take the latter every time, and I respect the creators for having the balls to pull it off in a world where audience expect everything catered to their desires and intelligence levels. I do think, however, that they could have stopped the coy, "I'll give you an answer and two more questions," game midway through the season and just started telling us what the hell was going on. Anyway, gripe aside, it was a phenomenal ending to a phenomenal show, and still, I think, the most satisfying ending possible.

5. The Walking Dead

When I first heard they were making a zombie show, I'm sure I moaned a little (zombie pun INTENDED). I hate fads and sadly zombies are a fad right now. Then, I found out it was going to be on AMC, and that it would be produced by Frank Darabont of Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile fame. Darabont also make The Mist which, I believe, is one of the best horror films of last decade. So I was intrigued. When the show debuted in October, I was from intrigued to amazed. The pilot was one of the best episodes of TV I have ever seen. It was smart and bold and beautiful and moving. AND IT WAS A BLOODY ZOMBIE SHOW!!! (Pun intended). The rest of the season failed to quite live up to the brilliance of that first episode but I honestly don't think anything could.  It wasn't really a zombie show. It was a human show. It presented zombies in a way that was smart and as realistic as possible considering they're the walking dead and stuff. The show is grounded with a terrific leading performance from Andrew Lincoln who sadly, up to this point, was unknown to me. He's incredible here as is all of the supporting cast. Points off for too short of a season and too long of a wait until it comes back on. Overall though this show has overwhelming potential, and I can't wait to see what it does with it.

Well that's it for today. Check back tomorrow for #4 and #3 on the countdown. If you can guess one or both of them I will give you a chocolate... or a free movie pass. And please share your thoughts on this. I know I'm going to get some grief for putting Lost so low, but I think I defended my reasoning well and there is a lot of good TV on right now. Until tomorrow...

Soupy Twist.

Worst Trailers: "Yogi Bear"

Yogi Bear. What is it? I never watched it growing up? Or did I? I don't remember. I know nothing about Yogi Bear. From this trailer I can infer that it's about a monotone bear who steals a bunch of food with overly clever contraptions. That's it.  No second or third dimension. No plot. No tricky underlying political message about Communism that was likely in the original (Those old cartoons are CRAZY. You ever watch Scooby Doo? Did you know he smoked weed? Brings a whole new meaning to Scooby snack don't it.)

Anyway there is no reason to ever make this into a big holiday feature length film, except that they're out of ideas and they're just grasping at straws. What is it about the holidays that make people flock to have 'film makers' throw their own fecal matter right into their waiting mouth and eyes? It's rank, bacteria infected fecal matter too! Yet we continue to go, year after year. It sickens me. I really hope that my eventual kid is smart. Please let her be smart. Because if she's stupid like nearly every other child in America she'll want to watch this stuff. And if she wants to watch this stuff then I have to be the bad guy and tell her, "No, honey, I will not let this abnoxious bear molest your brain." And then Social Services will take her away from me. And then my eventual hot super model wife will leave me for someone who does let their kids rot their own brain. And then I'll buy a lot of cats that look like Whitefat. And then I'll die alone, a gay prostitue in Long Island. And all of that because of how terrible Yogi Bear is going to be. Yogi Bear. Bastard. Let's take a look.



Effing annoying narrator guy comes in right from the beginning. It doesn't even have a chance of being good. Then Yogi, looking directly at the camera, says, "I'll take it from here Mr. Narrator!!" So, 1. He's aware that there's a narrator. 2. He's aware he's being filmed. Why the hell does this CGI remake bear also need to be self aware? Why? Biggest. Crapheap. Ever. The only decent thing is that it looks like the narrator is going to shut up now... nope he keeps talking. Damn. Now how did they get a boat. Why can they drive it? Where'd he learn to water ski on one foot like that? This trailer is already completely ludacris* and we're not even a third of the way in yet.

*And yes I spelled Ludacris like the hip hop star and not the actual correct grammatical way of spelling ludicrous. Go rap!

Then a huge belch shakes Jellystone National Park. We come to find out Boo Boo just had indigestion issue. Rule #1 of Comedy: BODY HUMOR IS ALWAYS FUNNY. If you're not smart enough to come up with a clever retort or a funny observation, just fart! It works every time. (If it doesn't work, fart louder or make fart sounds with your armpit. Someone will eventually laugh.) And then you can rest in the knowledge that, "Hey! If I made someone laugh I must be funny! I'm going to write a screenplay! Or a catch rap tune! And upload it to youtube!" And it's faulty thinking like this, that somehow won Andy Samberg a career. We live in the end of days.

Then, to the tune of a SUPER annoying pop song, we get to see Yogi fall down. Rule #2 of Comedy: PEOPLE GETTING HURT IS ALWAYS FUNNY. It doesn't even have to make sense! In this case it's a poorly created CGI bear that falls off a roof. Kids will laugh at that. Yes, kids will laugh at The Wiggles, which means kids will laugh at anything, which means kids don't know any better. But that's beside the point! The point is people (or bears) getting hurt is funny!!!!!  It's so funny that within literally two seconds the bear falls down again. It's like two funny jokes in one! Further proof that pain=humor- Jackass. Now it couldn't be that Jackass is just a group of neanderhtals who are too dense or drunk to keep a job that makes them money so they just mess around and do stupid shit with their friends. NO! JACKASS IS COMEDY GENIUS! Want proof? They slap a midget in the face. With a fish. In slow motion. In 3D. 'Nuff said. Pain is always funny.

The next bit is a montage that proves that if both Rule 1 and 2 (above) are true, then this movie is hilarious! Yogi hits a tree and falls down (Rule 2), Yogi spits something at the camera (Rule 1) Yogi gets hit in the head with a tree (2). Genius.

Boo Boo has got the moves. WHAT MOVES?!?! What does that mean? He turns on music. Is that move? Well i guess if you're a bear. Or if you want to impress lady bears... I still don't get it.

Yogi gets hit in the face with a pie (2).

Ugh. The bloody bear not only looked at the camera, but now he's pointing at us. "We're going to break the picnic barrier!" The only thing he's breaking is the fourth wall and it's pissing me off.

Then the bears go skydiving.

Then the bears give the people the razzle dazzle... WAIT A SECOND. Rewind. WHAT THE HELL???!! How do those bears go skydiving?!?!? Where'd they get a plane?!?! Who's flying it?!!?!?! Where did they take sky diving lessons at?!?! How did they afford them?!?! Bear prostitution? Is that what it means when Boo Boo has the moves? Is moves a euphemism for crabs? WHAT IS GOING ON?!!??!?

Back to the razzle dazzle. Oh yeah... the bear blows up a village. The horrible actor who is playing the Michael Jordan live action character just acts annoyed with Yogi the whole time. I'd put that damn bear down. I'd put it down with smile. High fiving a million angels. Boo ya. But seriously, why is that bear still alive.

I'm going to skip over the shameless and disgusting 3D plug. And move onto the bears and their turtle friend white water rafting. I'm become so accustom to this bs that that doesn't even seem like the craziest thing ever to me. WAIT! WHY THE HELL DOES THAT TURTLE HAVE SUCH A LONG TONGUE?!?!? Is it a magic turtle?!?!! I'm going to be having nightmares of this six foot tongue tonguing my face while I sleep and when I wake up it's just this turtle at my feet looking at me with perverted eyes. *Shudder*

More bs ensues with Yogi and Boo Boo flying some kind of contraption of their own design. I can't even deal with that right now.

Then we have the MJ character suggest that Yogi forage for food. This results is a grub popping out of one nostril and then being blown out the other (1). In 3D!!!!! Oh my God how many times does this movie need to shove down your throat that it's in 3D?!?!? Oh, then Yogi runs into a sign (2) and gets gets his bear butt dragged along a fence (2).

I've talked about a lot of Worst Trailers on this blog, but i'd venture to say that this may be the worst. Of all time. Ever. And that's really saying something.

Worst Trailers: "Tangled"

I know I have many friends and blollowers that will crucify me for this because they're too blinded by the fact that Disney is making another princess movie to realize that this one is going to be absolute shite. I'm really getting tired of computer animation too. Disney, just stick to what you do best somewhat decently: Make hand drawn animated films that make all girls think that someday their prince will come, and he'll be all square jawed and heroic. (Thanks a lot for that by the way. Bastards.) Don't try to be Pixar and make great computer animated films because you'll come off looking like you don't know what you're doing. Or even worse, you'll come off looking like Dreamworks. In fact I know the woman who was the Director of Photography on Toy Story 3 and she scoffed at how bad this movie looked. Now we may not see just exactly how crappy the lighting is in this film because we don't have the trained eye of a professional. She does. And she claims it sucks. I'm going to take her word for it. So now that we know the design blows, onto the story.



A cocky thief is super bad ass and evades capture all the time. We pause for a 'joke' about how the wanted posters of him aren't accurate because they keep mis-drawing his nose. I'm sorry, but I was a kid once and I still don't think I would have ever found that funny, clever, or necessary. But that was such a highlight of this film that they put it in the trailer. It can only go down from here. And down it goes. Annoying thief takes refuge in this giant tower in the middle of nowhere. Why? Because if you're running through the forest from the law the last place they'd look is the one civilized thing for miles around. It doesn't stick out like a ruggedly beautiful sore thumb at all. But we, of course, can't apply logic to this because the people behind this movie obviously weren't expecting the audience to think. They just need to mindlessly believe anything that happens so they can 'further' the 'plot'.

The next sequence is all about thief being attacked by some mysterious unseen force. We come to find out its this chicks hair. Now, I can't control my hair. I can't make it move or pick things up or throw cocky asses out a window to scare them. My hair isn't that long, but I have had it a lot longer than it is now and it still didn't have any super powers, except the power to make women swoon. So where do they get off giving this this princess the powers of Dr. Octopus? I think they realize the only way to make a princess movie remotely interesting or new they have to spice things up a bit and since not making a princess movie is clearly not an option they go this route instead. The rest of this trailer is a nonsensical montage that I don't even feel like dissecting, but here some lowlights:

• The titles on the screen. "He's seen everything." "She's be grounded like... FOREVER." Clearly they are trying to either emulate or appeal to teenage girls. Don't they realize that if they're stooping to the intellectual level of teenage girls, that there is literally no lower place to go on the intelligence scale. Babies are smarter than teenage girls because babies aren't influenced by a cocktail of horrible hormones and Gossip Girls. 
• The thief starts to say the classic Rapunzel line, "Let down your beautiful hair." But before he can finish, she does and it crushes him under its weight. This, again, is a comedy highlight of the movie. Then the horse starts laughing. Shut up. Seriously. I hate horses enough as it is.
• The fact that half the trailer is scored by Pink's Trouble. Aside from being a horribly annoying song it makes no sense. "I'm trouble. Yeah trouble now. I'm trouble ya'll. Trouble in my town." WHAT?! First of all it doesn't fit with anything that going on. Second, who's trouble?! Is in the thief? Well it's playing while he's getting beaten up, so apparently he's not very trouble at all. Is it the girl? The 90 lb soaking wet girl who can use her hair as tentacles to lift hundreds of pounds? I don't think she would enjoy being referred to as trouble. Is it that lizard who clearly has some kind of gay, ear-licking obsession with the thief? Well if I call him trouble now, I'll just come off homophobic so we'll go with no. Is it the horse? Clearly not. But he's going to be in trouble if I find the number to that glue factory my second cousin works at. So just to clear up, the only reason for this horrible song to be in this horrible trailer is so the horrible movie can seem pop culture-y and current. Except that song came out in 2003. Epic Fail. 

Overall this looks like its going to be quite the blotch on Disney's record. And I don't care how you Disney whores try to convince me, I'm not going to change my mind. But once you see it, you'll be likely to change yours... 

Soupy twist.