Worst Posters: Ramona and Beezus

So this is a new off-shoot of my worst trailers posts (which there will be more of to come when I get up the energy to actually write them). This is much easier however because it just has to analyze and mercilessly criticize one thing (a poster) as to many things (nearly every second in the atrocious trailers so-called professionals put out.)  So on to the first specimen:

First of all, I hate stupid movies. I really do. This is obviously one of them. Now, I have never seen a trailer for this film and have no idea what it is about. But I'm going to tell you what it's about right now based purely on this poster. Selena Gomez is a snooty Miley Cyrus/Bella Swan-esque angsty teen. She either has or acquires an originally annoying (possibly mentally handicapped) little sister whom through some contrived random events she has to take care of for an indeterminate period of time. Initially, in all her selfish teen ways, she hates every second of it especially the little sister herself. Then things get semi-serious for one or more of the characters and little sister turns out to be loving and wise beyond her years and helps heal Selena's bitter heart. In the end Selena is a, forever changed, happy teen who loves her sister, respects her parents, and does good in school.

Now, I'm willing to admit that i could be totally wrong here. What if am? Shut up. I don't care. If that's not the plot of this movie it will be the plot of the sequel/rip off/remake likely coming next year.

So, you stubborns out there may be mentally pointing out and criticizing that I haven't said anything bad about the poster in question, just what I think the movie may be about. Be patient. I'm getting to that.

First of all what the hell kind of a title is Romona and Beezus. It sounds like a rom/dram/com about a pretty Italian teen and her touching summer romance with her slightly retarded cousin all Les Cousins Dangereux style. Yes, I know it's the lead characters names, but honestly what the hell kind of name is Beezus anyway. I know you're all going to yell at me saying that this is based on a book and that I can't mock the name because that was the name of the book. I'm going to counter that attack by saying that a country that publishes an author that, of her own free will, decides to name the piece of literature that she is creating Ramona and Beezus is a country that is approaching dangerous levels of idiocy and desperation.

One quick thing. What's with Joey King who is a complete nobody to me gets billed before Disney princess/future pop goddess/bad actress Selena Gomez. This confuses me. Someone wanna clear it up?

Now onto the absolute worst part of this poster; those obviously pathetically fake paint hand prints on the girl's clothes. What, someone couldn't shell out 5 bucks for a can of paint? Selena wouldn't wear anything spoiled by someone else's un-famous hand prints? I really don't understand why they felt the need to digitally insert pink hand prints and then not even do a decent job of it. My 11 year old sister could do better than this. But then again, she is quite clever and intelligent. The adults who produced this are obviously neither of those things. It's a real shame, a real shame that I have to walk by this in the theater all the time and look at it.  It's really quite a waste of the wonderful gift that vision is.

At least a little sister goes a long way.

Soupy twist.